I’ll be honest, I’m so guilty of putting the Holy Spirit on the back burner. God is powerful and Jesus is a hero and the Holy Spirit does things I can’t explain and that makes me nervous and uncomfortable...so I put up walls of skepticism and stick to what seems most logical. However, there is something about this UCA journey that keeps reminding me that this isn’t logical...and by something I mean everything.
Today after prayer in community worship Armya looked up at me with passionate eyes that looked enlightened and hopeful. She whisper shouted, “God just talked to me in my head!” I asked her what He said…
A week ago I would have asked her to tell me what He said in hopes that it would make for a cute Instagram caption or quote for our quote wall. I would have shrugged it off as childhood innocence trying to make sense of a complex world. But earlier this week God spoke to me and it’s changed something deep in my core.
Over the past few months there have been some impossible situations come up. I’ve watched sin wreck lives, I’ve wept over situations that seem impossible to see hope in, I’ve felt emotions that seemed too big for redemption. In it all I’ve struggled to believe that Jesus actually has the victory. I’ve struggled to believe that God can restore what is broken. It’s seemed like the miracles would have to be too big and there would have to be so many before we’d see any change. So I’ve been praying for God to show me that He is victory. I didn't talk about this victory word with very many people but I did confide in some of my safest friends about this struggle and the longing in my heart to know and trust...Victory has been the cry of my heart.
There was a moment this week where all of the things seemed to pile up, an unrelenting wave of impossible circumstances that needed resolution. I was about to crumble under the weight. That same day I had the privilege of praying with Ramone, he is squirrely and his prayer was squirrely too. He starts every prayer regardless of if it’s meal time with “God thanks for the food.” This prayer was no exception. “God thanks for the food and for all the people in my class and…” he paused for half a second looked at me and blurted out one final word to his prayer…”victory.”
I felt a rush of electricity fill my veins. I thought I had misheard but then Mallorie, Ramone's sister, started laughing, “He said victory!!! That’s so silly.” They have no idea what the word means. I just laughed and laughed and laughed until there were tears in my eyes.
God spoke. At the moment I thought I couldn’t do it anymore God used a squirrely 6 year old boy to speak.
I asked Armya what God said because I believed in a new fresh way that He actually does speak. She said He told her that He really is going to rescue the world because He loves all the people in the world.
And He really is. He’s rescuing me.
God speaks. Maybe to hear Him most clearly we should listen to the littlest among us, listen even in the most unexpected of places.